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This is not your typical networking article. This article won鈥檛 give you 鈥淔our Ways to Cultivate Synergy!鈥� nor will it provide 鈥淭en Success-Boosting Motivation Tips from Millionaire Entrepreneurs!鈥� However, if that鈥檚 what you鈥檙e looking for, you鈥檙e in luck because those are real article titles.

This article is for the name-tag averse, the person wondering if they remembered to peel the size sticker off the blazer they just bought. This article is for the person caught off guard by an impending handshake, struggling to balance their sad little plate of cheese cubes on top of a sweating plastic cup swaddled in a soaked cocktail napkin. This article is for us: the people who dread networking. Let鈥檚 all take these next 36 sentences to find solace in our unity and wallow in the soul-crushing vacuity that is networking, then we can go back to pretending we鈥檙e so totally jazzed our boss has sent us to attend an event in Ballroom A of the Hilton Garden Inn at 6 p.m. on a Tuesday.

We know that networking makes the world go 鈥榬ound. It鈥檚 not a myth that if you want to build connections and create a community around your business, it really is about relationships. Smart people tell you these things all the time! So why do we dislike networking so much? To start with the obvious, trying to start conversations with random business-casual-bedecked strangers is awkward no matter what. What I think makes it so painful is this: Everybody in the room wants something, but we鈥檙e all bound by social convention to act as if we鈥檙e only there to build those relationships everyone is talking about. It鈥檚 the cognitive dissonance of trying to have a normal, human conversation all the while knowing that your actual secret mission is to worm your way closer to getting the thing you want. It would be whole lot less awkward鈥夆�斺�塧nd more transparent鈥夆�斺�塱f people at these events were to walk around with small signs hanging around their neck that list their name, company, and the things they want. That way Jimmy who wants employees, money, and a new office space can easily connect with Jackie who wants a new job, investment opportunities, and an office tenant. With the nuts and bolts of cold, hard commerce out there in the open, you can get things done and maybe even find your way into some naturally friendly chitchat.

It can be done. If you鈥檙e looking for networking tips from people who thrive on the experience, here are some pointers from Entrepreneur magazine and Monster:

• Listen well and ask lots of questions. Networking is so much less stressful when you can get other people to do the talking, and most people relish the opportunity to talk about themselves. The more information you can gather now will make it easier to start conversations in the future.
• Tell a story. When it鈥檚 time to share information about yourself, resist the temptation to rattle off your name, industry, and title. Tell people a story about who you are and what you do. Make it personal and engaging and people will be interested.
• Be sincere, authentic, and positive. Even if you dislike networking, cultivating a positive attitude will help keep things in perspective. Don鈥檛 take things too seriously and you鈥檒l feel yourself start to relax. Remember to bring your sincere and authentic self when interacting with others. It will help those all-important connections stick.
• Always follow up. Networking doesn鈥檛 stop after you鈥檝e exited Ballroom A. Following up after the fact is just as important. Whether it鈥檚 by phone, text, or email, make sure you send a quick message letting people know how much you enjoyed meeting them. Extra points if you can work in a fact or a personal detail from your conversation.

Still unsure and want to feel a little better about being an awkward networker? Here鈥檚 a true story from me to you: A client of mine was holding a grand opening of their high-end commercial interior design showroom. Sent to represent the company and 鈥渂uild affinity,鈥� I ended up chatting with a furniture supplier. It was going well! Probably because she thought I was in the market for office furniture (see above: Everybody in the room wants something). As we paused in front of a brightly spotlighted display of office chairs, she told me her company was the sole licensed distributer of a certain designer in the Northeast. She then raised her hand up to her face looking for all the world like the universal invitation for a high five. Not wanting to leave her hanging, I enthusiastically slapped her hand. I鈥檓 also pretty sure I said, 鈥済ood job!鈥� One look at her confused face and I realized the spotlight from the display has been in her face and the chill 鈥渦p top!鈥� gesture was just an attempt to shade her eyes.

The motivational takeaway of this is that despite wanting very much to throw all my business cards up in the air as a diversion and scuttle under said designer chair, I finished out the event and lived to network another day. Plus, I came away with a story to add to my 鈥渁musingly humiliating anecdotes portfolio,鈥� and I guarantee that erstwhile high-five recipient won鈥檛 forget me anytime soon either. Hey, maybe I鈥檓 a better networker than I thought.